I was so sad, I cried!?

Okay, my mom confronted me about her and her boyfriend's relationship. She said that they had tests and the baby isn't his. She said that the man she got pregnant with is my real dad.


So, like a few months ago, my mom went out and had sex with my dad, and they were broke up had been brok eup for 2 eyars, she said she just went over there to say hi and just talk about the divorce and see if they should get back tgether. she said it turned into sex. She said that she has been considering getting back 2gether with my dad (i was so excited until the next part) than she said, but then she realized how great ryan (her boyfriend) is and decided that she wasn't going to remarry my father and that he was a 2-timing *****. I couldn't believe she would say that about my fathe.r





for some reason this whole discussion made me sob and now i'm depressed.


1. cuz my father has been let down


2. my mom is pregnant with my father and not even having a relationship with me


3. can u help??

I was so sad, I cried!?
It appears that the situation is out of your hands. It's sounds like your mom was upfront with her boyfriend, correct? She must of told him about the encounter with your father or she wouldn't of had the tests.
Reply:I really don't know what to tell you except that i am really sorry that this is happening in your life and maybe you need to talk to a close friend of yours or a family member about this maybe they can help you out if not just someone to listen to you. Take care.
Reply:Oh honey, I don't even know who my real father is. My mom was 16 when she had me and doesn't want me to know who my real father is. She said that he was an alcholic and that I didn't want to know who he was. I sometimes wonder why she doesn't want me to know, I feel I have a right to know.





Anyways.





I can't help, because I'm not standing be your side. But here's some advice.


Talk to your mother once you are calmed down. Tell her that maybe you feel that she should be in a relationship with your father since his child is in her stomach. Her boyfriend is just going to be a step-father to you and your new sibling, and he probably thinks he is the real father to the baby in your mother's stomach, but he isn't.





You might want to tell your father about your sobbing your head of because of this. and i bet he doesn't know that your mother is pregnant with his child, you need to tell him this also.








Just calm down and talk to your parents, seperately, maybe different days. You could also tell your mother's boyfriend that who he thinks is his kid, is your father's kid and that your mother is really being a jerk.





Hope this helps!
Reply:I really don't think that the intricate details on your moms part is necessary. Things shouldn't have been brought up to you, unless they were for sure.





My advice to you is, just let them work things out between the 2 of them, and you sit back and see what happens, and just love them both unconditionally no matter what.
Reply:You poor girl! your mom should NOT be putting you in the middle of this crap. None of it sounds like it is healthy for you. How old are you? have you considered moving in with your dad? Also, it would probably be a very good thing for you to talk to a counselor about these things. Your school counselor may be able to help you find some resources that can help you to feel better. I am confused, is your mom still pregnant? or has she had the baby? They cannot do a paternity test until the baby is born.
Reply:1 and 2 and you have to talk to someone close to you about 3. it is okay to cry.
Reply:call your Father.tell her boyfriend. this is not good.and shes just playing everybody..
Reply:Sooo sorry. Your mom tells you things that she shouldn't. BOUNDARIES. Stay strong and the next time she starts to talk to you like you were her friend rather than her daughter, tell her to call a friend to talk about her problems with. You say you're sad coz your father has been let down, what about you?


But, I'm a mom, I haven't been perfect. I talked to my daughter too openly, about some things. But she asserted boundaries with me. Good for her and maybe good for me. Coz I raised her and I do love her sooo much.
Reply:I'm so sad for you, I want to cry! You have every right to cry your poor eyes out, and it's good for you to do so--it is a completely normal response to a gut-wrenching situation that both of your parents will not take responsibility for! I'm wondering how they can both be so incredibly unconcerned with your feelings, but it's obvious that they are too irresponsible to even be concerned with issues that SHOULD matter to one another! You should not have to suffer for the decisions that two "blind" adults make out of selfishness and irresponsibility! So unfortunately YOU will have to make some adult decisions, such as seeking some CARING family members, perhaps an aunt or uncle, or even your grandparents, and telling them that you are in great emotional pain! Let them know what you have told us--some other adult will be glad to intervene on your behalf, so that you aren't in such pain. If that's not possible, then call a teenage help line, and see what options they may have for you! I am SO SORRY for what you're going through right now--please accept a big cyber-hug from me, and promise me that you'll take some giant adult steps that will help you turn things around for yourself! Be strong, get some help, and let me know that things are okay with you! I wish you all the best!
Reply:I'm sorry. I'm a teacher and I've seen how much parents can, unwillingly, hurt their own kids when they divorce.





First of all (and this applies to all relationships that do not involve yourself as an active participant): you never know what's really going on. Maybe what you mother has said is true, or maybe she'd like to be back with your father but he's not willing to, or maybe she'd like to but she knows it just won't work (for reasons you ignore and she'd rather not bother you with).





So my advice would be to speak to your mother and ask her to think about the possibility of getting back together with your dad (and I'd add happy memories they've shared together). This you should say sweetly and not as a reproach. And whatever happens next will be absolutely up to her. BUT you will have tried. :)





Well, girl, don't forget that no matter what she may decide she's the one and only mother you shall have, so show her you love her and don't let anything get between you. A mother is someone extremely precious and special in your life.





Good luck and hug!
Reply:Dose your mother realize that she was 2 timing on Ryan( her boyfriend)??
Reply:It's okay to cry that's how you can release stress. But your mom is wrong.
Reply:So sorry to hear about this and I don't mean to sound mean, but your Mother is one mixed up woman. She doesn't know the meaning of the word Loyal. She is a loose woman. It really makes a person wonder, why would she let this happen? Who knows what hell your Father lived in while with her. This type of a women always blame the man. I bet your Father is really sorry for letting this happen. Should kick himself in the ***. Take one day at a time, and if I were Ryan, I would leave fast.

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